#40 - Coming Full Circle

Friends, we made it!  Today is the last day of the year and also saw my last random act of kindness on the #AmandaDoes40 journey.  This year was meant to focus my life in two very intentional ways - be as kind as possible and have as much fun as possible.  Through this year I've learned that those often go hand in hand.  This has been one of the best years of my life, and I owe it to the constant search for ways to be kind.

I also wanted to raise $14,600 this year for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.  My tremendous friends Mandy and Ally Griffith walked in San Diego and a large group of remarkable women participated with Amy and me in DC.  Amy also headed up the community walk in Austin and I contributed to that as well.  Through all of these efforts the village I am so blessed to be a part of met and exceeded that goal.  Today, for my 40th act of kindness, I made one more donation to the AFSP in honor and memory of those lost to suicide this year.  Suicide and mental illness continue to be an issue we must address every single day.  We have to continue having the conversations and fighting for those who can't yet see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

As this year draws to an end and I reflect on the year that saw me turning 40 I am nothing but grateful and joyous.  I have chosen kindness over and over again, and I have been blessed a million times over.  As I move into 2018 I will continue to choose kindness.  I will always love louder.

#39 - Hamilton Lessons

As I was driving home from my sister Amy's house last night she called to check on me and thank me for spending the holiday with them and specifically for entertaining my nephew Keaton while she and Matthew (BIL) got things done around the house.  Amy said my "babysitting" should count as one of my act of kindness.  I laughed and told her it doesn't count because it can't be kindness if you expect something in return, and I expect Keaton to visit me in the retirement home someday.  As I continued my drive I listened to some of my favorite songs from Hamilton and a few things struck me...

1.  Eliza and Alexander have a special relationship that touches me.  After their first son is killed in a duel they move uptown and "It's Quiet Uptown".  This song brings on ugly crying every single time I listen to it.  Alexander tells her that if he could trade his life for their son's he would.  Their son would stand there in his place and his wife would smile, and that would be enough.  The idea of what is "enough" has stuck with me.  Maybe entertaining Keaton is an act of kindness, because I don't expect anything at all in return - just being near him for that moment is enough.  I was happy to do it and it was my favorite part of the entire holiday, so it seems silly to count it as an act of kindness, but if it made life easier for my sister even for a minute, I'll take it.  In my eyes, Keaton is always enough.

2.  In that same song, we deal with the fact that Alexander has had an affair and written a brochure to explain himself to the world thereby saving himself but sinking his marriage.  Eliza is understandably devastated by all this and it only gets worse when her son dies.  By the end of the song she takes Alexander's hand and we get "forgiveness... can you imagine?"  A love that deep and sincere is the stuff of Hallmark movies, but it happened.  Eliza loved Alexander so much that she forgave him and then later told his story (more on that to come).  Forgiveness is such a gift to Eliza.  It allowed her to move forward.  There has been a handful of people in my life who hurt me in a way that has made it hard for me to truly forgive.  I'm still working on it, but I'm committed to forgiving all as a kindness to myself.

3.  Hamilton ends with "Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story" and I'm not sure any show has ever ended so well.  So much greatness packed into it and we finally really recognize that Eliza is the hero of the show.  She loves so deeply and solidifies the legacy her husband spent his entire life trying to make for himself.  We find out what Eliza does for the 50 years after Alexander dies and it is absolutely heart clenching goodness that, again, has me balling every time.  There's a line in the song about her sister Angelica that hit me last night - "when I needed her most, she was right on time."  Doesn't that epitomize a sisters' relationship?  When everything falls apart and you're in desperate need a sister will show up every time - right on time.  This is more of a promise than an act of kindness, but I will forever strive to be what Amy needs when she needs it. 

So I'm counting the combined lessons of Hamilton as my 39th act of kindness for the year.  One of the most challenging parts of this has been deciding which ones to "count" and which ones go by without a blog entry.  I'm not sure these should have made the list, but they were all on my heart and that seemed like reason enough to give them a space on the countdown.  If you haven't listened all the way through Hamilton, give yourself that gift.  It's changed the way I think about a lot of things in my world.

#38 - Help When Needed

At the beginning of this year long kindnesses journey I committed to being spontaneous and taking advantage of opportunities to be kind wherever they may arise. A friend recently told me about a family in need this holiday season, so I helped. It really is that simple... someone needed help so I did what I could. It’s a good reminder to be open to what shows up in my life and embracing every opportunity I can to make life easier for those around me.

#36 and #37 - Feeding Frosty

My 36th and 37th acts of kindness are separate instances of feeding my Uncle Frosty (John, but family calls him Frosty).  Frosty is a fan of barbecue brisket and believes some of the best in the world is at... wait for it... Dickey’s in Keller. I know, I know. He’s mistaken a I’ve even taken him to hard Eight, but he likes what he likes. On Monday I went to Dickey’s and bought him 2 pounds of brisket and enough barbecue sauce to float a goat. He was happy with his sandwich for lunch today, and I call that success.

The next act of kindness was sugar cookies. He doesn’t feel like it’s chrismtas unless there are sugar cookies with what was historically really crappy buttercream. My Papa was the cookie master and when he died Amy and I picked up the torch. We did insist on using really butter rather than Country crock, but otherwise the tradition remained alive. I’m not the baker in the family - Amy does a magnificent job at it and I gladly salute her in this arena. I went it alone this year and managed to pull together a couple dozen passable sugar cookies that he seems to appreciate. As my gym bag says “I did my best.”

My uncle is a picky soul. He is very particular and set in his ways. He loves me deeply and appreciates me, but he has a hard time vocalizing any of that. Tradition is important to Uncle Frosty, and I’m happy to do what I can to keep the spirit of Christmas alive in mediocre baked goods.

P.S. Don’t tell him I cheated this year and used a pre-made refrigerated dough. The buttercream was legit... that’s something, right?!

#35 - Mentoring

I've been torn about whether or not to "count" this as an act of kindness...  I mentor a sweet girl in middle school.  I've been in her life since 3rd grade.  Our time started with casual talks about school and have transitioned to discussions about course selections, strategies to get homework in, extra-curriculur activies, and even navigation of social issues.  In short, I try to be a big sister - a supporting adult in her life that will listen and help her navigate school.  In the four years with her I've seen her grow into a sweet young lady who cares about her grades, has a fun level of sass, and still yells "I love you" to me as she leaves our lunches.  I absolutely get more from her than she gets from me, and I am humbed and honored to spend time with her.  I'll count it as an act of kindness for one reason, and one reason only.  My awesome mentee has been oddly fond of an oversized black hoodie that didn't seem like her personality to me.  I got her a new hoodie for Chrismas and she claims to love it.  She loved it so much she even agreed to a picture in the hoodie with Ellile the Elf!

#34 - Helping with Lunches

My 34th act of kindness is one close to my heart.  A couple of weeks ago I asked the sweet girl I mentor if she had enough money in her lunch account.  She said she had $5 and that was plenty.  I told her $5 didn't seem like much, and she said it was better than not having $5.  First, she's a smart girl.  Second, that perspective was important for me.  I came back to the office and that thought stuck with me.  I decided that it would be awesome to pay off overdue lunch accounts for students at some of our low-income elementary schools.  For families who know that having $5 is a good day, breaking even on a lunch account before Christmas can make a big difference. 

Once I found out what it was going to cost to cover one campus I decided to recruit friends to the effort.  It started with donations from caring colleagues and turned into selling candy-grams to get some more money.  At the end of the adventure we'd collected just over $900 and was able to pay off all accounts for 4 campuses.  Today I had the absolute delight of delivering those checks with a friend.  We asked that they let the families know that a group of anonymous donors wanted to help them and wish them a happy holiday.  If that money helps even one of those families, we've done a good thing.  If one kid can come to school in January and not have to worry about whether they are behind on their lunch balance, well...  I'll just say it's worth it. 

P.S.  Ellie the Elf helped with the check delivery!

#33 - Drink Cart

Every year at work the Angel Committee (a moral boosting group I'm a part of) try to make the week before the holiday break a week of fun surprises.  Part of the festivities this year was a drink cart that one of the Angels pushed around the building to offer our colleagues hot cocoa, hot cider, or peppermint tea.  You'd be amazed how appreciative people are of a surprise warm beverage.  I donated the drinks for the adventure as my 33rd act of kindness, and it warmed my heart and my tummy!

#32 - Donated Candy

I donated about 2,000 candy canes and soft peppermints for the students of TSMS in Project Ssss referenced in #31 below.  Money well spent when I saw the smile on the kids' faces knowing they were ready to give them away!

#31 - Planning a big surprise!

At the beginning of the school year a wonderful teacher at Trinity Springs Middle School, Mr. Cornelius, contacted me about pairing up on an act of kindness with his PALS class.  Mr. Cornelius has a class of middle school students who work to make people happy, show leadership, demonstrate kindness, and generally make the world a better place.  This is a dream come true!  So most every Thursday this semester I have gone to the school for about 45 minutes every Thursday morning to plan an act of kindness with these awesome kids.  We analyzed what a successful act of kindness looks like, set up a metric to gauge our act of kindness, brainstormed ideas, then developed a plan.  The students did an awesome job planning and executing what we called Project Ssss, which was a week of No Stressmas for students and staff at the school.  This week the students and their fearless leader Mr. Cornelius decorated the building, greeted everyone with candy canes, played music at lunch, sang carols in the hall, set up a drink station for teachers, and even got permission to use phones at lunch one day.  It was universally held that the week made people happy, and that was the goal.  I gave some time this semester, but I definitely got more than I gave in this adventure.  These kids fueled my spirit, made me feel special, and reaffirmed to me that kids are incredible people who will change the world if we let them.  Heart is full thanks to the PALS of TSMS.  Go Titans!

#30 - Fill 'er Up!

My sister, brother-in-law, and nephew spent a day with me last week before they flew to Ohio to visit family.  I offered to drive them tot he airport and store their car in my garage while they were away.  They flew back home this evening, and I knew that the three hour car ride home after the flight from Ohio was going to make for a very long day.  Kindness came in making that trip home as easy as possible.  I stopped and filled the tank up so they wouldn't have to stop to do that on the way home.  I then stopped at Sonic and got all three of them their favorite drinks - even a lemonade for sweet Keaton!  I also had a feeling 4 year old Keaton might be a bit hungry when they landed, so I got him a corn dog.  All were thrilled with the drinks and snack and appreciative of the fuel.  I was happy to help and happier to get to spend a few precious minutes with them.  Making life easier for others is a pretty soul-filling act of kindness.

#28 and #29 - Through the Woods to Grandmother's House I Go

My 28th and 29th acts of kindness took place over the Thanksgiving holiday.  My grandmother, Wanda, lives in Roswell, NM.  Getting to Roswell by car takes about 7.5 hours of pretty boring driving (see photo below).  I generally go see her every Christmas, but it's been several years since I've seen her for Thanksgiving.  This year I made the trip to spend a couple days with her.  When we spoke about me coming she said she was just not up for cooking (she's 83 - who can blame her?!) so we'd go out to eat.  I know how much tradition means to her, so I decided to take the matter into my own hands.  My 7.5 hour trip was done with two coolers in the back seat full of Thanksgiving meal necessities from the catering department of Central Market.  We had turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green beans, brussel sprouts, rolls, and two pies.  No pressure to cook or guilt if I cooked, because all we had to do is heat it up!  Mama was moved to tears and thanked me profusely.  Thanks aren't necessary, as I'd have done it all again to see her smile when I walked in the front door.  I was also rewarded with an incredible sunrise Friday morning when I started my drive home.  I count this as two acts because going was an act of kindness and bringing dinner was another that surprised and thrilled her.

#27 - Chic Fil A Aggression

This morning I treated myself to Chic-Fil-A for breakfast. We have two lanes at the drivethru. The pickup next to me was being weird and almost seemed to be trying hard to get in front of me. Rather than getting hacked off I decided maybe he was having a hard morning. So when I ended up in front of him I decided to buy his breakfast. Maybe it changed his trajectory!  Sometimes the people acting the least kind need kindness the most.

#26 Choosing Not to Rage

I drive from my office in Keller, TX to Texas Christian University in Fort Worth every Tuesday during afternoon rush hour. I'm amazed at how many cars are on the road and how many of those cars are driven by asshats. People cut in line, tailgate, and drive otherwise aggressively. Something about being in a car makes people lose civility. 

This last Tuesday I got in my car and decided today's commute was going to be different. I decided I would drive kindly every chance I got. I let people over, I slowed down to make space when I saw a blinker, I even waved over a gigantic 18 wheeler. Everyone else kept driving like asshats, but I chose not to. Know what?  It made an awesome difference!  By looking for ways to be kind instead of ways to be pissed off was an incredible lift in my spirits!  It was awesome to focus on something positive. That commute was an act of kindness that filled my spirit immensely!  Focusing on the right thing can make all the difference. 

#25 - "Good Day!"

I went to Starbucks with a friend at lunch today.  We were racing about town and went through the drive-thru to grab a quick caffeine boost.  The woman who greeted us through the intercom did so with a cheery "good day!" and it made me smile.  She also had the best laugh - I mean truly an awesome laugh.  After she'd delivered my PSL (I'm an addict, I know), I gave her $5.  She was confused and told me I'd payed with my card.  When I told her it was for her because she made me smile with her awesome attitude she quite literally squealed and did a kind of vibrating dance thing.  She turned around and showed her co-workers and looked like she might actually cry.  She thanked me profusely and told me how special it was.  It was $5...  Wouldn't you give $5 to someone if you knew it would mean that much to them?  Sometimes you just need to reward awesomeness when you see it.  This woman could have just slugged through the day and taken my order like everyone else, but she was doing her job in a way that made my day better.  If anyone deserves kindness it's the person who's working so hard at being awesome for others.  So lady at the Starbucks drive-thru on 1709, I salute you!  Thanks for the incredible coffee drink and the cheery disposition.

#24 - Danger Zone

Last week I took 5 incredible women to the movies.  We went completely old-school and saw Top Gun.  I even snuck some pictures during the volleyball scene <squeal!>.  Tickets were cheap and I created a little coalition of women who could forget our stresses and laugh together for a couple of hours.  Creating the space to relax and laugh is an act of kindness, and it's an awfully fun one!

#23 - Tweet a Little

A few weeks ago I had a friend putting together a gift basket for a teacher. She asked what teachers would most want as a gift. While I thought I had some good ideas, I've learned that it's always wise to go to the source. I asked the Twitterverse, and Tweeting teachers specifically, what they most want as a gift. I was thrilled when answers started rolling in!  I passed on the information and an awesome gift basket was created... but that's when I realized that this was a pretty easy random act of kindness in the making. I picked an awesome teacher who had Tweeted my way and decided to gift him the suggestion he made. So a couple weeks ago Mr Hardy's room got several boxes of Kleenex and a whole mess of Expo markers!  Best yet, Amazon delivered them directly to the campus so I managed this whole act of kindness from my desk. How's that for an awesome and efficient kindness moment? Mr Hardy - thank you for your awesome spirit and your heart for kids. We're a better school community because of you!

#22 - Best Gift

I received the best gift of my life on September 15, 2013. On that day my sister brought my nephew, Keaton, into the world. It wasn't an easy delivery - he made her push for three grueling hours - but at the end of that day I held a miracle and cried my first aunt tears. On that night they were soft rolling tears of gratitude and love. I was lucky to spend an entire week with them as they acclimated into their new life, and when I left seven days after his birth I ugly cry sobbed most of the way home and convinced myself I had to move to Austin because three hours was just too far.  Keaton is my little buddy, my sunshine, and a tangible reason to fight to make the world better. 

So what's this got to do with kindness?  I send Amy flowers on Keaton's birthday, because I'm forever  grateful she made me an aunt that day. I send Amy flowers because on that day she showed bravery, strength, and love in ways that make me so proud of her. When you're this proud of and thankful for another person, you should let them know. You should tell them in whatever way you can, because sharing those feelings is an act of kindness. 

Amy and Matthew, thank you for sweet K. He's the most awesome kid in the world, and he makes me a better person. 

#21 - In the House of Shine

Many of my acts of kindness revolve around giving things of value to others. While those acts of kindness are awesome, it's also important to remember that giving of time is also a worthy - sometimes even more valuable - act of kindness. Yesterday I had my first meeting as a member of the advisory board for the House of Shine. This incredible organization is a nonprofit that aims to help children and women find their Shine and use it to make a contribution to their community and world. How awesome is that?  Everyone has gifts to share, and this organization takes effective steps to make that happen. I'm honored and humbled to give my time to this noble cause!

Do you want to learn more about finding your Shine?  Check this out!:
https://www.houseofshine.com/

#20 - Feeling Helpless with Harvey

I have many friends struggling with the devestation unleashed upon southeast Texas by Harvey. I continue to tease some of my Houston friends about getting a boat to come get them, and I would if I could. When disasters like this strike and there's not much we can do to help, it starts feeling rather helpless. So rather than buying a boat and traveling to Houston where I would surely end up needing saving myself, I donated to the Red Cross this morning. They are in the thick of things providing relief to those who need it most. I'd love it if you'd do the same... https://www.redcross.org/donate/ You can select Harvey specifically from that page if you're so inclined. To my friends and to strangers who may see this, you're in my prayers. I wish I could do more, but know that we're here ready to help in any way we can whenever we can.

#19 - Book Blessings

This 19th act of kindness is my favorite so far.  Months ago I went to an event benefitting the school district.  They showed a video of a young lady who'd received a scholarship and talked about how much every dollar meant to her as she started college.  It made me think about some of our students who are first generation college-goers and how difficult it must be to get started on a campus with modest financial backing and blazing a trail in your family.  The AVID program does incredible work with first generation college-bound students, and Keller ISD is lucky to have an incredible AVID program, especially at Fossil Ridge High School.  Knowing that every dollar means the world to new college kids, I decided this was a great place for kindness.

I spoke with the AVID teacher at FRHS (shout out to Hillary White!) and asked if she had some college-bound students who would be starting at a university this fall and could use a little help with textbooks.  I then recruited assistance from one of the most generous men I know (Joe Griffin).  We decided we could buy the books for 4 students' first semester!  I got to notify those young people on Tuesday, and the outpouring of love and gratitude has been overwhelming and inspiring.

Sometimes I forget how hard it was to start college and be overwhelmed with the astronomical cost of everything.  I do remember going to the grocery store and being shocked that cereal cost $4.  I cried at the bookstore when I saw my biology book was over $100.  It just seems like a lot when you're 18 and new to the world.  Heck, it seems like a lot when you're 40 and have been around the block.  If a few hundred dollars can make those first few months a little easier on a first-generation college student, it's money well spent.  This is my favorite act of kindness so far because I feel like it has the potential to make the most long term impact.  My heart is full today.