Friends, we made it! Today is the last day of the year and also saw my last random act of kindness on the #AmandaDoes40 journey. This year was meant to focus my life in two very intentional ways - be as kind as possible and have as much fun as possible. Through this year I've learned that those often go hand in hand. This has been one of the best years of my life, and I owe it to the constant search for ways to be kind.
I also wanted to raise $14,600 this year for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. My tremendous friends Mandy and Ally Griffith walked in San Diego and a large group of remarkable women participated with Amy and me in DC. Amy also headed up the community walk in Austin and I contributed to that as well. Through all of these efforts the village I am so blessed to be a part of met and exceeded that goal. Today, for my 40th act of kindness, I made one more donation to the AFSP in honor and memory of those lost to suicide this year. Suicide and mental illness continue to be an issue we must address every single day. We have to continue having the conversations and fighting for those who can't yet see the light at the end of the tunnel.
As this year draws to an end and I reflect on the year that saw me turning 40 I am nothing but grateful and joyous. I have chosen kindness over and over again, and I have been blessed a million times over. As I move into 2018 I will continue to choose kindness. I will always love louder.
Follow me through my 40th year... the year of risk, $14600, and random acts of kindness!
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Sunday, December 31, 2017
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
#39 - Hamilton Lessons
As I was driving home from my sister Amy's house last night she called to check on me and thank me for spending the holiday with them and specifically for entertaining my nephew Keaton while she and Matthew (BIL) got things done around the house. Amy said my "babysitting" should count as one of my act of kindness. I laughed and told her it doesn't count because it can't be kindness if you expect something in return, and I expect Keaton to visit me in the retirement home someday. As I continued my drive I listened to some of my favorite songs from Hamilton and a few things struck me...
1. Eliza and Alexander have a special relationship that touches me. After their first son is killed in a duel they move uptown and "It's Quiet Uptown". This song brings on ugly crying every single time I listen to it. Alexander tells her that if he could trade his life for their son's he would. Their son would stand there in his place and his wife would smile, and that would be enough. The idea of what is "enough" has stuck with me. Maybe entertaining Keaton is an act of kindness, because I don't expect anything at all in return - just being near him for that moment is enough. I was happy to do it and it was my favorite part of the entire holiday, so it seems silly to count it as an act of kindness, but if it made life easier for my sister even for a minute, I'll take it. In my eyes, Keaton is always enough.
2. In that same song, we deal with the fact that Alexander has had an affair and written a brochure to explain himself to the world thereby saving himself but sinking his marriage. Eliza is understandably devastated by all this and it only gets worse when her son dies. By the end of the song she takes Alexander's hand and we get "forgiveness... can you imagine?" A love that deep and sincere is the stuff of Hallmark movies, but it happened. Eliza loved Alexander so much that she forgave him and then later told his story (more on that to come). Forgiveness is such a gift to Eliza. It allowed her to move forward. There has been a handful of people in my life who hurt me in a way that has made it hard for me to truly forgive. I'm still working on it, but I'm committed to forgiving all as a kindness to myself.
3. Hamilton ends with "Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story" and I'm not sure any show has ever ended so well. So much greatness packed into it and we finally really recognize that Eliza is the hero of the show. She loves so deeply and solidifies the legacy her husband spent his entire life trying to make for himself. We find out what Eliza does for the 50 years after Alexander dies and it is absolutely heart clenching goodness that, again, has me balling every time. There's a line in the song about her sister Angelica that hit me last night - "when I needed her most, she was right on time." Doesn't that epitomize a sisters' relationship? When everything falls apart and you're in desperate need a sister will show up every time - right on time. This is more of a promise than an act of kindness, but I will forever strive to be what Amy needs when she needs it.
So I'm counting the combined lessons of Hamilton as my 39th act of kindness for the year. One of the most challenging parts of this has been deciding which ones to "count" and which ones go by without a blog entry. I'm not sure these should have made the list, but they were all on my heart and that seemed like reason enough to give them a space on the countdown. If you haven't listened all the way through Hamilton, give yourself that gift. It's changed the way I think about a lot of things in my world.
1. Eliza and Alexander have a special relationship that touches me. After their first son is killed in a duel they move uptown and "It's Quiet Uptown". This song brings on ugly crying every single time I listen to it. Alexander tells her that if he could trade his life for their son's he would. Their son would stand there in his place and his wife would smile, and that would be enough. The idea of what is "enough" has stuck with me. Maybe entertaining Keaton is an act of kindness, because I don't expect anything at all in return - just being near him for that moment is enough. I was happy to do it and it was my favorite part of the entire holiday, so it seems silly to count it as an act of kindness, but if it made life easier for my sister even for a minute, I'll take it. In my eyes, Keaton is always enough.
2. In that same song, we deal with the fact that Alexander has had an affair and written a brochure to explain himself to the world thereby saving himself but sinking his marriage. Eliza is understandably devastated by all this and it only gets worse when her son dies. By the end of the song she takes Alexander's hand and we get "forgiveness... can you imagine?" A love that deep and sincere is the stuff of Hallmark movies, but it happened. Eliza loved Alexander so much that she forgave him and then later told his story (more on that to come). Forgiveness is such a gift to Eliza. It allowed her to move forward. There has been a handful of people in my life who hurt me in a way that has made it hard for me to truly forgive. I'm still working on it, but I'm committed to forgiving all as a kindness to myself.
3. Hamilton ends with "Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story" and I'm not sure any show has ever ended so well. So much greatness packed into it and we finally really recognize that Eliza is the hero of the show. She loves so deeply and solidifies the legacy her husband spent his entire life trying to make for himself. We find out what Eliza does for the 50 years after Alexander dies and it is absolutely heart clenching goodness that, again, has me balling every time. There's a line in the song about her sister Angelica that hit me last night - "when I needed her most, she was right on time." Doesn't that epitomize a sisters' relationship? When everything falls apart and you're in desperate need a sister will show up every time - right on time. This is more of a promise than an act of kindness, but I will forever strive to be what Amy needs when she needs it.
So I'm counting the combined lessons of Hamilton as my 39th act of kindness for the year. One of the most challenging parts of this has been deciding which ones to "count" and which ones go by without a blog entry. I'm not sure these should have made the list, but they were all on my heart and that seemed like reason enough to give them a space on the countdown. If you haven't listened all the way through Hamilton, give yourself that gift. It's changed the way I think about a lot of things in my world.
Saturday, December 23, 2017
#38 - Help When Needed
At the beginning of this year long kindnesses journey I committed to being spontaneous and taking advantage of opportunities to be kind wherever they may arise. A friend recently told me about a family in need this holiday season, so I helped. It really is that simple... someone needed help so I did what I could. It’s a good reminder to be open to what shows up in my life and embracing every opportunity I can to make life easier for those around me.
Wednesday, December 20, 2017
#36 and #37 - Feeding Frosty
My 36th and 37th acts of kindness are separate instances of feeding my Uncle Frosty (John, but family calls him Frosty). Frosty is a fan of barbecue brisket and believes some of the best in the world is at... wait for it... Dickey’s in Keller. I know, I know. He’s mistaken a I’ve even taken him to hard Eight, but he likes what he likes. On Monday I went to Dickey’s and bought him 2 pounds of brisket and enough barbecue sauce to float a goat. He was happy with his sandwich for lunch today, and I call that success.
The next act of kindness was sugar cookies. He doesn’t feel like it’s chrismtas unless there are sugar cookies with what was historically really crappy buttercream. My Papa was the cookie master and when he died Amy and I picked up the torch. We did insist on using really butter rather than Country crock, but otherwise the tradition remained alive. I’m not the baker in the family - Amy does a magnificent job at it and I gladly salute her in this arena. I went it alone this year and managed to pull together a couple dozen passable sugar cookies that he seems to appreciate. As my gym bag says “I did my best.”
My uncle is a picky soul. He is very particular and set in his ways. He loves me deeply and appreciates me, but he has a hard time vocalizing any of that. Tradition is important to Uncle Frosty, and I’m happy to do what I can to keep the spirit of Christmas alive in mediocre baked goods.
P.S. Don’t tell him I cheated this year and used a pre-made refrigerated dough. The buttercream was legit... that’s something, right?!
The next act of kindness was sugar cookies. He doesn’t feel like it’s chrismtas unless there are sugar cookies with what was historically really crappy buttercream. My Papa was the cookie master and when he died Amy and I picked up the torch. We did insist on using really butter rather than Country crock, but otherwise the tradition remained alive. I’m not the baker in the family - Amy does a magnificent job at it and I gladly salute her in this arena. I went it alone this year and managed to pull together a couple dozen passable sugar cookies that he seems to appreciate. As my gym bag says “I did my best.”
My uncle is a picky soul. He is very particular and set in his ways. He loves me deeply and appreciates me, but he has a hard time vocalizing any of that. Tradition is important to Uncle Frosty, and I’m happy to do what I can to keep the spirit of Christmas alive in mediocre baked goods.
P.S. Don’t tell him I cheated this year and used a pre-made refrigerated dough. The buttercream was legit... that’s something, right?!
Friday, December 15, 2017
#35 - Mentoring
I've been torn about whether or not to "count" this as an act of kindness... I mentor a sweet girl in middle school. I've been in her life since 3rd grade. Our time started with casual talks about school and have transitioned to discussions about course selections, strategies to get homework in, extra-curriculur activies, and even navigation of social issues. In short, I try to be a big sister - a supporting adult in her life that will listen and help her navigate school. In the four years with her I've seen her grow into a sweet young lady who cares about her grades, has a fun level of sass, and still yells "I love you" to me as she leaves our lunches. I absolutely get more from her than she gets from me, and I am humbed and honored to spend time with her. I'll count it as an act of kindness for one reason, and one reason only. My awesome mentee has been oddly fond of an oversized black hoodie that didn't seem like her personality to me. I got her a new hoodie for Chrismas and she claims to love it. She loved it so much she even agreed to a picture in the hoodie with Ellile the Elf!
#34 - Helping with Lunches
My 34th act of kindness is one close to my heart. A couple of weeks ago I asked the sweet girl I mentor if she had enough money in her lunch account. She said she had $5 and that was plenty. I told her $5 didn't seem like much, and she said it was better than not having $5. First, she's a smart girl. Second, that perspective was important for me. I came back to the office and that thought stuck with me. I decided that it would be awesome to pay off overdue lunch accounts for students at some of our low-income elementary schools. For families who know that having $5 is a good day, breaking even on a lunch account before Christmas can make a big difference.
Once I found out what it was going to cost to cover one campus I decided to recruit friends to the effort. It started with donations from caring colleagues and turned into selling candy-grams to get some more money. At the end of the adventure we'd collected just over $900 and was able to pay off all accounts for 4 campuses. Today I had the absolute delight of delivering those checks with a friend. We asked that they let the families know that a group of anonymous donors wanted to help them and wish them a happy holiday. If that money helps even one of those families, we've done a good thing. If one kid can come to school in January and not have to worry about whether they are behind on their lunch balance, well... I'll just say it's worth it.
P.S. Ellie the Elf helped with the check delivery!
Once I found out what it was going to cost to cover one campus I decided to recruit friends to the effort. It started with donations from caring colleagues and turned into selling candy-grams to get some more money. At the end of the adventure we'd collected just over $900 and was able to pay off all accounts for 4 campuses. Today I had the absolute delight of delivering those checks with a friend. We asked that they let the families know that a group of anonymous donors wanted to help them and wish them a happy holiday. If that money helps even one of those families, we've done a good thing. If one kid can come to school in January and not have to worry about whether they are behind on their lunch balance, well... I'll just say it's worth it. P.S. Ellie the Elf helped with the check delivery!
#33 - Drink Cart
Every year at work the Angel Committee (a moral boosting group I'm a part of) try to make the week before the holiday break a week of fun surprises. Part of the festivities this year was a drink cart that one of the Angels pushed around the building to offer our colleagues hot cocoa, hot cider, or peppermint tea. You'd be amazed how appreciative people are of a surprise warm beverage. I donated the drinks for the adventure as my 33rd act of kindness, and it warmed my heart and my tummy!
#32 - Donated Candy
I donated about 2,000 candy canes and soft peppermints for the students of TSMS in Project Ssss referenced in #31 below. Money well spent when I saw the smile on the kids' faces knowing they were ready to give them away!
#31 - Planning a big surprise!
At the beginning of the school year a wonderful teacher at Trinity Springs Middle School, Mr. Cornelius, contacted me about pairing up on an act of kindness with his PALS class. Mr. Cornelius has a class of middle school students who work to make people happy, show leadership, demonstrate kindness, and generally make the world a better place. This is a dream come true! So most every Thursday this semester I have gone to the school for about 45 minutes every Thursday morning to plan an act of kindness with these awesome kids. We analyzed what a successful act of kindness looks like, set up a metric to gauge our act of kindness, brainstormed ideas, then developed a plan. The students did an awesome job planning and executing what we called Project Ssss, which was a week of No Stressmas for students and staff at the school. This week the students and their fearless leader Mr. Cornelius decorated the building, greeted everyone with candy canes, played music at lunch, sang carols in the hall, set up a drink station for teachers, and even got permission to use phones at lunch one day. It was universally held that the week made people happy, and that was the goal. I gave some time this semester, but I definitely got more than I gave in this adventure. These kids fueled my spirit, made me feel special, and reaffirmed to me that kids are incredible people who will change the world if we let them. Heart is full thanks to the PALS of TSMS. Go Titans!
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